My life is beguiling. My luck has held.  Skimming the surface or dredging the depths.  Full of stops and starts. Hopes and dreams. One failure after another but a winner all the way.   Bursts of drama, of mostly my own making, laughter, tears and secret dread. Imaginary and real chains pulling me into depths of darkness and the will to drag my self back and stay afloat.

Nothing that shows on the surface is real. Smiles, laughter, apparent calm. Nor is everything else simmering beneath real.

So this is life...my life...lived much, loved much. Come a long way, possibly more to go....

The joke is on me as is the winning hand...living my lie as truthfully as I can....