30th April 2026
Words dont heal
30th April 2026
Words dont heal
Don't leave I murmured
A snow fall....the most delightful of childhood memories. What I remember is the mood of the moment. Gray skies and wind, and yes, a snow fall...flakes of white, fluttering from the sky. The joy, the thrill and the shout of ' Anna snow wetenawa.' My younger sister and I would run out to the garden and collect fistful of this 'snow'. So much that my mother would make a pillow out of it later.
Yes bits of floating cotton raining down from the sky...always happend late afternoons just before the rains.
A cotton tree burst its pods some where and I never discovered that tree...
What joy it brought what an awesome moment.
a quiet morning , on my turf...matchless peace...then my mind succumbs to its endless chatter...'pretty scene, got to share on face book', and I do... Why? a moment ago I was in bliss with the solitude around me, happy to have this time away from it all...planing endless Waldon pond getaway moments...yes, life of a hermit in the jungle away from the traffic and the people. Therein the contradiction... Here I am sharing my moment of bliss and quiet with a host of unrestricted 'friends'. most, I would at best share a polite greeting but nothing more should we actually meet. In the secure womb of my home, I quite unabashedly open my heart ... post up my innermost soul.....what brings out this trust and warmth towards the other which is lacking in a real time meeting? for me, it is the security of my own space.. Which makes me softer and more benign. I don't see an enemy out there...'my friends' out there will not laugh at me...they are me and part of me...they accept my absurdities and blunders and forgive me as I forgive my self... Then why am i so weary and guarded of those I meet day to day...watching what I say and how I act...forever wondering what 'the others' would think. These "friends" on line are the same that I meet on the road... So its me...in my turf I'm safe in the delusion of 'good' in the other... And out of it I'm vulnerable in the delusion of 'bad' in the other...surely, the other did not change... What I see out there is simply a reflection of the state of my mind...delusional in its safety and delusional in its fears....




It all began with a dream, the dream of one man to make vertical living spaces the 'home' of the future.
When you love
Love endlessly
Love ceaselessly
Tirelessly and with all your might
Because what finally sticks in your throat
Is the love that you didn't give.
The vision I failed to see...
We drove along a drab, rather desolate road, dotted with decrepit shanty houses, passed a vast garbage land fill, it's stench assaulting
our nostrils even through the closed windows of the vehicle. A couple of bends later we parked by the side of the road. We both got off the vehicle to be assaulted afresh by a stench emanating from a nearby tanning shed and stepped into a low laying ditch filled with garbage and overlooking a waterway that was covered with a layer of waterweed and beyond that lay thick wetland as far as eye could see.
' Hemaka turned to me in excitment, ' you said you wanted to live close to water, let's build our house here'. I was dumbstruck, nose shrivelled up against the stench of garbage and the completly alien smell emanating from the tanning shed close by, eyes watered with pain from scratches of thorns and mosquito stings, trying desperately to hold on to my mental picture of a cosy home in a middle class housing scheme with our kids riding bicycles with neighbourhood kids, along manicured pavements....i am sure my dissatisfaction showed. I voiced my biggest concern. 'But what about a proper neighbourhood, a place where one day our children could grow up, have company of like minded neighbours. He said ' so we will turn this into a neighbourhood that suits us and bring the people to us.
We stood there both disappointed with each others views.... and then he said, its OK if you don't like it I will turn this into a great place and I will change this landscape. I will make this the Manhatten of Sri Lanka. Then whilst we stood ankle deep in a pit filled with garbage, me in my limited vision staring desperately at rusted tin and rotting plastic bottles, he stood a few feet away, looking over the water and beyond the wetland, dreaming. Dreaming who knows what. Maybe he dreamed of tall elegant buildings, Beautiful tree lined boulevards, Elegantly landscaped lawns dotted with art work. Swiming pools, Gymnasiums, Sport Centers, Super Markets, Salons, roads connectingro the main roads... giving life and living space to hundreds of people.
Maybe....just maybe, he also saw the many many children that now ride bicycles along the well manicured lawns and paved walking spaces.....